Realigned

My Achilles tendon is still a bit sore, although it doesn't creak anymore, and the top of my right foot feels as if one of the metatarsals is fractured, but this is speculation since I am not a doctor...yet.

After discussing these physical drawbacks with my parents they suggested that I visit the chiropractor, "they'll be able to realign you," they coaxed, "and tell you whether or not it's a good idea to be hiking barefoot."

So, I made my appointment and they were able to slip me in same day.

"One leg is definitely longer than the other," I told Dr. Elad.

"Don't ever let anyone tell you one leg is longer," he said as he drew my legs together and pulled to see where the two lined up, "because your legs are the same length."

I was shocked. I thought I was just asymmetrical, since there is proof of being so in my feet, the right one is larger, my eyes, one is lazy, I have a more photogenic side to my face, one clavicle sits lower than the other and the fingers on my right hand are whole ring sizes bigger than the digits on my left. So I didn't bat an eye to the thought of my left leg being longer.

I have also seen proof of this in the soles of my sneakers that I have had since 2007. Whereas my sister expires her sneakers every 6 months (which means I get a new pair of kicks about twice a year), mine never retire. At least this pair has not, they have hung around for the past 4 years. They have been up and over Lafeyette, through the subway of Kings Ravine, over Mt. Madison, reached the summit of Mt. Washington and selected for a few first dates. How would anyone be able to part with them? Today they have holes, the seems are busting, the insoles are almost worn through and they feel more like slippers.

Before I left I was out on the front porch getting some sun. My trail runners were set side by side in front of me and I inspected them as I lay on my stomach. That's when I noticed the asymmetry of the vibram soles. Whereas the inside of left sole is worn down more than that of the right shoe, the outside of the right sole is worn down more than that of the left shoe. It looked as if for the past 4 years I had been walking sideways on a slope. That day I made a mental confirmation of my uneven legs.

So back in the examining room, Dr. Elad explained that my sacrum (the triangular bone that sits behind your hips (it is sandwiched between L5 and your coccyx) was askew and pinching my L5 (the last vertebra of your lower back.

This can cause pinching of the siatica (the longest nerve in your body that runs from your lower back, through your gluteus maximus (your buns) down through your leg and to your big toe. I have suffered the pinching of my sciatica for at least 7 years. I have been embarrassed to say it because I am young and it makes me  feel like a geriatric. It acts up quite a bit and it the worst when I get out of bed in the morning. I end up doing this slow-motion routine where I roll on my side slowly slide my legs over the mattress' edge and plant my feet and rise while I brace myself for the shooting pain. Yes...that is me at 23.

It also affects circulation since it is slightly cutting off one of the biggest suppliers of blood to the lower limbs. This explains my compartment syndrome. When I was in high school, I was dancing intensively, six days a week and I was experiencing a burning sensation just above my ankle on my left leg. As this fiery state continued a hard grape-size lump appeared.

The surgeon explained that you have compartments in your lower legs. Think of a hot dog in its casing, the hot dog being my muscle that was being constricted by its casing. So she performed what is called button-hole surgery where she made little incisions and sliced the compartment. In theory, this would allow the muscle to expand before the casing closes up, resulting in a larger casing and a hot dog that can breathe easy.

Imagine that, the surgery cost thousands of dollars, but $40 for a chiropractic visit was all I needed to discover the route of my symptoms and to get popped back into place. It is curious to note that the surgeon said, "we don't know why this happens." We had to pay her to say she didn't know the reason for something that she was conducting surgery on to fix (can you really fix something if you don't know the route of the problem?). The irony is almost unbearable.

So with a torque and a body slam (that's what it seemed like) there was a loud POP! "Ok, your sacrum is back in place," said Dr. Elad. "Wow, just like that?" I said, "just like that," he said with a twinkle in his eye.

He went on to explain that your body will try an fix itself. For me, my sacrum was tilted so the bones in my skull were tilting in an opposite direction to counter the attack (this is all physics). So he proceeded to torque my head and adjust my vertebral column.

"Let's check out your legs now," he said.

He had me lay on my tummy as he pulled my feet out, "there," he said, "same length."

He also said that I was going to feel like a new woman, that it was fine to hike barefoot, and that it was probably time to expire those exhausted shoes "it's going to feel weird walking in them since both legs are planting normally now."

So thank you Dr. Elad, whom we mid as well refer to as "Elad"-din, since he definitely has a genie looking out for him, giving him all of these super powers.

So, long story short, if you have a problem with your body, go to the chiropractor first. It will definitely pay off.